In two weeks it will be the two year anniversary of camdyns birth. wow, i cant believe how quickly time goes by. I truly did not think I could survive that much pain and here I am two years later. My wonderful mother in law sent me a link to the youtube video about a baby girl named audrey caroline smith. Her parents found out that she had abnormalities that were "incompatible with life" when she was 20 weeks pregnant. They decided to hold out hope that God would heal her, and not terminate the pregnancy. The video is a tribute to audrey and the mom singing a song called "I will carry you" It is so so beautiful. I watched it tonight and was reminded of the walk jacob and I were forced to take almost two years ago. Audrey was born and passed away two days before camdyn was born and passed away. Im reminded of the pain and the anger, and the questions that Jacob and I were left with after that life changing day. As I watched the video I held ava, rocking her to sleep. My oh my how Gods grace is so evident in my life today. I wouldnt trade any of the experiences that we have had since camdyns birth. God truly truly answered our prayers. Its so refreshing to be reminded how much He loves us and how He DOES know the desires of our hearts. I still feel pain, and my heart still hurts that I dont have camdyn to hold, but what a joy to know that my sweet baby girl and ava's big sister is in the arms of Jesus.
happy almost - two - year birthday with Jesus
camdyn reese graff 4.9.08
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"Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. I know there will be days when this life brings me pain, but if thats what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring rain"
3 comments:
I find myself reading this blog and noticing that your daughters birthday is just two days away. I take comfort in knowing that Heather you have returned to the Lord and once again have the opportunity to hold your beautiful Camdyn in your arms. I can't fathom the grief your husband and family must be feeling at this moment and am praying that they find peace. God called you home to Him and Camdyn on this day for a reason. He must have chosen you to be with Camdyn and Jacob to be with Ava. May God bless your soul, you are loved and will be dearly missed.
This all still seems like an awful nightmare. Then I think about Gods will and somehow feel alittle peace. The only way i've been able to feel peace since yesterday morning. Heather, you were just awseome. A beacon of light, a true gift to have known. My heart breaks for ur family, for what they are going thru and what lies ahead for them. I heard a song yesterday and it said even the most perfect days can end in rain. Even though our day ended in rain yesterday, ur was pure sunshine and will forever be! I can't wait to see u again - u and camdyn have a blast up there together and throw her a big ol birthday party! Thank u for touching me and shining Gods light so brightly! Your words were spoken so eloquently, ur laughter was contagious and ur stories mezmorized me and made me smile. Thank u for coming into my life! I love u dear!! Meet me at the gates:)
Heather you don't know me and sadly I only know you because you went to nursing school with my sister. I was at ETBU myself at the same time as you though. You have softened my harden heart. I read your blog just now and to hear the magnitude of your faith is so incredible! You are now with our Father who u loved so much and your baby girl and I know that you are even making heaven a better place! Thank you for opening my eyes and my heart. I now want to gain that kind of relationship with God. Thank you! You saved my life!
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